You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he shaved USA in his pubs
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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