I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Use "feeling words"
Yay
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
