my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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