somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
