remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
