im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
