woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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