you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
