6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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