the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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