The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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