i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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