is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
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Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
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I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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