well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
