My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
