I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we made out on top of his cat.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
