my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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