This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
