Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
