Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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