Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize