My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
