She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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