I wanna bring you to show and tell
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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