some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
