she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im part way to drunk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
