This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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