There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
