12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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