I wish my penis had an off switch
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Someone came in the potted fern
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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