I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
