wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
