I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
