so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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