Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
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