So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
