Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
