i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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