what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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