your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
