Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
