The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He better not be in your backpack
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
