Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
