I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
