He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
