he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
