He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
