Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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