her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize