I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
