took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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