so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
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