i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
