I wannas sexs uuuuu
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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