i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
