we're blogging at a bar
My balls are so social today.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
