The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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