Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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