Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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