Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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