My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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