So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
