Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
