The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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