you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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