I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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